Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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