dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
