Tell her she can't have a vagina
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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