I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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