tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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