my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
