just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
