Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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