Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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