Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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