you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
