Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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