i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
