Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
wow bdsm is so cute
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
