I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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