I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize