Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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