This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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