Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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