At least make sure they are 18
Why
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
