Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
