so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
