Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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