In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
