you're like a bully in the Christmas story
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
