just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
