you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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