This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
