Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
