ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
