Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
