I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
