She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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