Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
