Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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