You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
