Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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