Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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