Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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