At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
