hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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