So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
