thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
