Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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