She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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