So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
