Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
