Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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