Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
