i permit you to call me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
