mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
