NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
