I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
