SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Randomize
