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You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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