i don't plan on having that self control this summer
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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