Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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